Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Edited For Clarity
Edited For Clarity
I love words. I admire wordsmiths - those crafters of a well-turned phrase. I am a very verbal person - a storyteller. Ask me what time it is and I’ll tell you the funniest story I know about clocks or being late or that time my wristwatch got hung up on the saddle horn. And while you wouldn’t know it from the way I mis-use words around here, I scored off-the-charts on the verbal portion of the GMATs. I am, in short, verbose. I love words. I adore verbal sparring (but not the sarcastic-laden, mean kind). Witty repartee makes me seriously hot. Speaking in front of a group? No problem. I can work a room like a Vegas lounge singer. Asking directly for what I want? Has me cowering.
When I am trying to describe something, I want you to know the backstory, what led me to think the way I think, to better understand why I feel the way I do. But I also use words as my most serious weapon in manipulation. Yes, that’s hard to admit, but as a person with codependent traits, I have to acknowledge that I can be manipulative. I would spend hours having conversations in my head with someone. Thinking that if I put together just the right combination of words into the most persuasive of arguments, I could finally make them see the error of their ways. If I could string together the perfect sentence, I could stop compulsive spending or even hoarding, affairs or alcoholism. I thought it was within my power to do so and I kept trying. Now I know that my words are useless against such foes.
And I am also coming to know that less is sometimes more. I have used words as a shield, as a buffer, as a way to keep my partner/foe/foil off-balance and away from the real issue. I could deflect anyone who got close enough to see my vulnerabilities. Now I’m trying to live an authentic life and that means distilling things down to their very core.
I have a particular issue with Bick. It’s not huge, but it could lead to some resentment on my part if left unchecked. So I know I need to talk to him about it. I need to ask for what I want. Well, that is so difficult for me. Luckily, I’ve been able to strip what was a half-hour explanation that would cause only eye-rolling, and would-you-please-get-to-the-point sighs down to two sentences. It was very simple, once I edited for clarity.
I'm at a conference. Exercise and food have been okay - not stellar. I had the fortunate or unfortunate, depending, experience of finding a lovely little Turkish restaurant near my hotel. I've eaten there TWICE! And of course, I had to have dessert! I have been getting to the gym every morning but I'm suffering a bit from travel gut but I will be right as rain once I return home tomorrow.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Cut to the chase.